A Time Comes In Your Life
A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst
of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks, and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ~ ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you
shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears, and through a mantle
of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is
your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over
the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you
are not Cinderella. (ummmmm!) And you realize in the real world there
aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and
that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you; and in
the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you're not perfect, that not everyone will
always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are, and that's
okay. (They're entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you
learn the importance of loving and championing yourself; and in the
process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did
to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you
can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what
they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you; and that
it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own, and to
take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety and
security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people
as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties;
and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of
forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world
around you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have
been ingrained into your psyche.
You begin to sift through all that you've been fed about how you
should behave, how you should look, and how much you should weigh;
what you should wear and where you should shop, and what you should
drive; how and where you should live, and what you should do for a
living; who you should sleep with, who you should marry, and what you
should expect of a marriage; the importance of having and raising
children, or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And
you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really
stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have
bought into to begin with; and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there
is power and glory in creating and contributing; and you stop
maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next
fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together
the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save
the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility, and the
importance of setting boundaries, and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry,
and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love.
Romantic love and the familial love. How to love, how much to give in
love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to
project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.
You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more
lovable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the
child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you
would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and
you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms
just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean
lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact
that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10, and you stop trying
to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you
"stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings
of entitlement are perfectly OK. And that it is your right to want
things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it
is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity, and respect; and you won't settle for less.
And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify
you with his/her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning
of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple, and you begin to
care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced
diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn
that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So
you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter
fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe
you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that
wishing for something to happen is different from working toward
making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to
risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly
fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to
step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever
happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the
right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life
and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you
think you deserve; and that sometimes-bad things happen to
unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to
personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing
to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state ~ the ego.
You learn negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be
understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you,
and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when
you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple
things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the
earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water,
a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take
responsibility for yourself by yourself; and you make yourself a
promise to never betray yourself and to never settle for less than
your heart's desire.
And you might hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen
to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage
in your heart and with Spirit by your side you take a stand; you take
a deep breath, and you begin to design the life that you want to live
as best as you can.
~Author Unknown~
